For the Partner
You may have suspected for some time. Or, the discovery may have come as a shock and a surprise. Or it may be the excessive pornography use has diminished his attention from family responsibilities and from appropriate attentiveness toward you.
First and foremost, please know that you are not alone.
You may be feeling hurt, anger, grief, shame and perhaps even a false sense of guilt. Some take on a sense of responsibility for their partner’s sexual behaviors. It is also not uncommon for partners to feel so much pain they begin to shut down and isolate themselves from others.
Your partner’s sexual acting out IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not to blame. Nevertheless, the loss and confusion you feel persists as you slip into sense of shame that does not rightly belong to you.
Although the desire to isolate is natural, it is not most helpful. You need and deserve your own support. Even if your partner has not admitted to having a problem, or is not willing to enter into a recovery program, you have a responsibility to care for yourself.
Only you, can take care of you. We can help. You may benefit from our Taming Trauma Triggers workshop.
When you learn that a loved on is involved in pornography or other compulsive sexual behavior, distressing emotions well-up. These include feelings of shock, anger, disgust, deep hurt, and confusion. You may also experience intrusive and obsessive thoughts. These thoughts and feelings occur naturally as a result of betrayal trauma as one is blind-sided by the truth of a partner’s sexual secrets.
You experience impaired daily functioning and a profound sense powerlessness. You feel like you are “going crazy”. Our Taming Trauma Triggers workshop can help.
The most common support partners seek through therapy is a safe place to sort through this traumatic experience.
Your partner is likely to be disconnected emotionally. You may hear denial and minimizing of the problem. Your feelings are probably being dismissed. How can your partner provide the support you need for healing when the betrayal continues and trust no longer exits?
We provide that safe place and support you need to begin to heal. We have experience in the healing process for both the addict AND the partner.We offer a special track of treatment focused on your unique needs.
We recommend that you not make any major decisions regarding your relationship during the first year of recovery. Your world needs to have some stability before major decisions are made. So whether to leave or stay will become clearer after you have experienced support.
Now is a good time for you to reflect on your own life and determine what changes you can make that will help you live a life full of peace — a life full of the happiness and love that you deserve. Get help now with our Taming Trauma Triggers workshop.