How is it that so many people are falling every day into the trap of addiction? The introduction of the internet into daily life certainly plays a role. Here’s how.
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Attachment and Addiction
John Bowlby pioneered understand of the way human being “attach” in his study of children and their caregivers. His fundamental insight is that the shape of our emotional response to the people closest to us has been informed by very early childhood experiences. Therapists use the basic insights of Attachment Theory and and their understanding of Attachment Styles in treating sexual addiction.
Avoidance and Addiction
Many therapists who work with sexual addiction acknowledge that attachment challenges contribute to the emergence of the disorder.
The Hollowing Out of Relationship
We are the hollow men We are the stuffed men Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw. Alas! Our dried voices, when We whisper together…
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The Partner’s Primer
Sexual addiction does not just touch the one who struggles with the addiction. Partner’s suffer as well. A primer on sexual addiction is incomplete unless it includes the partner experience. Partners often get overlooked in the drama of sexual addiction. All the attention goes to the addict. But the partner has real needs as well.
A Sexual Addiction Primer
People who are new to sexual addiction — clients and therapists alike — may have trouble getting good information on what this is all about. For those just starting the journey and looking for the basics, here is a sexual addiction primer.
A Group for the Holidays
“Cross the river in a crowd and the crocodile won’t eat you.” Some proverbs are rather more practical than others. This African proverb is more practical than most. No one wants to be eaten by the crocodile. When we discuss the road to recovery from sexual addiction it is always best to cross the river in a group.
The Toxic Relationship
A sexual addiction turns any relationship toxic. A toxic relationship strips a person of their health. We all live in a network that connects us with other people. When those relationships are healthy, we are healthy.
The Challenge of Denial
The journey of recovery from sexual addiction includes many challenges. The first perhaps, involves the need to address Denial. Denial is a natural (and mostly healthy) coping mechanism we use to avoid a painful reality. It serves us well when we are confronted with a situation for which we are not prepared. It gives us the psychological space we need to gather the resources and support required to tackle change.
The Partner’s Journey
As the addiction advances, it becomes more and more difficult maintain the false front. Negative consequences multiply. Cracks begin to appear in the image he is working so hard to create. The partner will often experience a growing awareness that something is not right. She will not be consciously aware of this at first. The awareness will slowly rise as a deep intuition — a feeling of growing discomfort.
Boundaries and Sexual Addiction Part 3: The Very Challenging Work of Treatment
How does the well-trained sexual addiction therapist address the challenge of boundary failure in the life of a person who struggles with sexual addiction? It is not enough to describe the condition. It is not enough to understand how internal boundary failure contributes to a failure to respect the boundaries of others. Just advising someone to change, does not work.